Hello tardis79, welcome to Psych Central.
You have a lot to cope with but it does sound like depression. Depression Symptoms, Information and Treatment - Psych Central Be gentle with you.  Keep talking here, it helps.
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
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