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Aug 19, 2014, 08:16 AM
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Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: England
Posts: 4
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Hey guys, I wanted to ask a question about counselling.
Personally I've struggled for the last 4 years with an eating disorder which has gradually recovered and is now in a liveable comfortable state (I'd probably consider myself recovered) except I still feel the need to compulsive exercise daily or I feel incredibly fat.
After this diagnosis, about 2 years ago I was diagnosed with major depression and had counselling for that. (The counselling for my ed ended when I had to leave as the service was only for under 18s and I went a while, managing to recover myself from the ED without counselling.) So January this year I felt like I was wasting the counsellors time and she may have had people with larger issues than my depression to deal with and I wanted them to get treated. In the meantime in December I started on Sertraline which was gradually upped from 50 to 100 mg. I've had no review appointments and my Dr seems to think keeping me on them is fine, but I've been really down on and off lately.
By down, I mean my boyfriend and mum have been struggling to deal with my mood changes and the quick pace I live my life at in order to keep me busy and not depressed or fat. (A regular day for me contains workout, job, piano, iceskating, sometimes something with friends and another workout.) Because of this I'm not sure whether I now need counselling or not because in my head I feel like I'm making it all up, as though the depressive thoughts don't actually exist and I'm just imagining them. I still struggle to contain my self harm habits but have so far managed a week without self harming and in general most of the time I feel as though I'm getting by. The only times when I don't feel as though I'm getting by are the little episodes I have at least once a week of utter despair when some sort of trigger means that I will feel almost entirely unable to deal with life.
Without my boyfriends constant support I feel I would be in a constant state of 'I cannot leave the house and don't care about life' but because I have him I feel like my life is going on and I'm getting by ok. 
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