I have the same ability- being able to switch it off for work. I've been fortunate that work is an area of my life where I feel a lot of control- and like you- my home life is where the symptoms can get out of hand.
Being able to sense someone's true mood is a skill that takes a lot of time to cultivate. If possible- consider having your husband go to a p-doc appointment with you.
The hardest aspect of being able (or at least thinking you can) to turn the on/off switch- is that it's only in selective settings. It really becomes that much more apparent that you don't have control as often as you think. My therapist has encouraged me to apply the things that I do with work- list making, setting goals, negotiating- to my home life so I can start to feel more in tune.