Separating this post from the above.

Went to the creative centre at the hospital (after picking up meds that I needed.... administrative cockups are a nightmare... was scheduled for 5 days of diazepam and received none in my take home packet, nurses had to raid the cupboards to give me enough to tide me over till they could get it corrected). Primary reason was to talk to some of the group organisers to find out about activities outside of the hospital and it was very informative... a lot to take on board and I was trying to not get overwhelmed by the noise (which there was a lot of) going on around me... but got it all written down so I could read when I got home and things are a lot quieter.

While there I got involved in a conversation with an outpatient who seems very well adjusted (masks... I have my own, so never can tell) who it turns out suffers from depression and has done so for years... but has never been admitted to hospital. Was saying how hard it had been to have not been... and I felt comfortable to share some insight, along with a woman who was sitting there who's daughter has been admitted on a number of occasions in the past:

He said that for him he has never self harmed and he thinks this may be the reason, but he deals with suicidal thoughts on a very frequent basis. I shared that for me (and I stressed that I was no advocating this at all) I had slipped into self harm and it started getting worse... that my mental stability deteriated and after being assessed by the crisis team it was encouraged that I go in voluntarily.... that however, hospital is not something that makes it all better... in the UK, mental health hospitals do two things: keep you safe and look at your meds whilst making sure you take them. There are no therapy groups... and if you have anxiety as well, it can blow that through the roof... so if he's managing outside, I'd recommend he stuck with it. The lady next to me nodded and agreed.

Just my take on the situation... interesting if any other UK people can share on this.

Anyway, been busy today and tried to start 'doing things'. Went to Halfords on my bike after the hospital for some essential maintenance items for my peddle power mobile.... then when I got home, asked the wife what we were having for dinner (spag bol apparently) and asked her what needed to be done - chop mushrooms and onions, so got on with it and done. When she cooks, I'll take the dog for a walk.