What's the best way to explain to t the level of compartmentalize going on in my head? It's not DID, just a pretty high level of dissociation. She knows DDNOS is a diagnosis I've had for years, and I kinda tried to explain some of the stuff to her without going into specifics, but as trust is growing, there's a desire to let her in on some more of it. I had something written out, but it feels foolish to say out loud. I think part of my hesitation comes from the judgement I've gotten about it in the past. This t keeps reminding me that "nothing [I] have said to [her] has been ' stupid'", but I can't get past it in my own head. I've been yelled at over this stuff, ridiculed, and called a liar. I know it's all been past people, and not ever any of the t's I've worked with, but I worry about it... what's the least outlandish way to tell t of the different parts? I don't want to say anything to make it sound like DID, because it's not, but all the parts are linked to different ages and emotions. There's only one that ever is so separate I have almost no connection to (and she has a name, and can be "summoned" if spoken about), but every other part I'm aware is just an aspect of me, a very specific way of functioning around an emotion or around intellect.

How can I explain this to t? I definitely don't have the courage to say it out loud. It gets very triggering talking about this stuff out loud. Though I can write about it easier, she's big on trying to get me to read the things I write to her. If I read her this stuff, I'll just be a huge mess. Talking about the different parts tends to bring various ones to the surface. We have not perfected grounding with her, so I'm not all that confident I'd be able to leave session in an ok state after this discussion.

I would leave this stuff to come out in its own dialogue, but there are things she is asking of me that are impossible to do because of how separate everything is in my head. It's also a huge barrier to me getting the level of support I need because the intellectual side is the one that can identify the type of support needed, but has no emotion connected to it so it looks as if I don't need that support. If I'm presenting in one of the more emotional states, I'm either unable to ask for more support, or unable to know what the support would need to be. It quickly leads to decompensation so severe that I wind up inpatient. I'm really trying to avoid that right now, especially since local psych units don't really offer emotional support which is what I'm needing in the moment...

sorry. I've rambled a lot. Has anyone had a positive experience telling their t about something like this? Was there anything that made it easier to comprehend?