Thanks for the suggestions.

What makes me mad about the two parties is the way that he changed his mind at the last minute. Had he told me that he wanted to do something separate originally, it wouldn't have placed so much stress for me to plan something at the last minute.

Is my daughter going to need two weddings someday because he doesn't want to be in the same room as me? 2 graduation parties? Granted- I didn't grow up in a divorced household, but it sounds insane to me. Oh well, I'll get used to it someday.