I tried this letting it all go perspective, in marriage. It only resulted in stuffing it all down, and being a doormat.
I've said since. If I cannot be honest, then I'm only holding it in, and we aren't growing.
Even those, you'd not suspect of jealous feelings, will have them. Might come out, as just one lone comment, but eliminating the emotion, doesn't seem evidentiary possible.
I'd be leary that he's not trying to take advantage of your trying so hard to become someone who is working on trust skills and learning to be mindful of jealousy.
What does your T say about your bf's need to contact this woman?