I hid myself for 15 years before letting my husband know who I was. It is a painful and lonely way to live. I have been learning over the past few years how to talk to my husband. It is hard work. We both mess up sometimes and hurt the other but we are learning to communicate.

My advice is to tell your SO about what your previous boyfriend said about you and how you are afraid that he was right and are now afraid to be yourself and get your emotional needs met. It is a serious talk but believe me it is worth the massive amount of discomfort you will have trying to start the discussion. Chances are you will feel much better afterwards. Together you and your SO can work out a way for you to get the attention you need while preserving the seperateness that makes us individuals.
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos