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Old Aug 19, 2014, 01:38 PM
jimmy rich's Avatar
jimmy rich jimmy rich is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: California
Posts: 361
My current process is to seriously and studiously use the 3rd step of AA = Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
This time I did it seriously and intensely and it took me into a vast, empty yet wonderful place, state where the little me disappeared and all there is/was is a happy and FREE totality or ONENESS. Putting words to this is quite difficult and I've acquired a lot of words thanks to sharing meetings. I was empty handed and not sure what to do with myself next so I decided to Turn it over and see what happens when I'm no longer trying to run my life. The peace and FREEDOM that came with letting go and SURRENDERING to a higher power or god is wonderful and so I'm staying with this surrendering attitude/action as much as possible. I tried this many years ago BUT did not do it consistently or seriously so I gradually slipped back to personal, egoic depression/futility. I thought that therapy, self esteem and other "mental" processes would do the trick and it did for a while BUT I eventually ran out of steam! I am going to stay with this letting go and surrendering for as long as it takes now that I see it is the only thing that is going to work (for me). I have memories of giving up and letting go in the past and miraculous things happened but never realized I'd need to keep surrendering ALL the time - not just on weekends or when I am in trouble. My other exotic spiritual experiences came at the height of a TERRIFYING event and it depressed me to believe I could only "get there" through FEAR AND TERROR! I'm sure glad to now know that I can get THERE by just surrendering and letting go anywhere, anytime but as much and often as possible so it becomes my ordinary state rather than an exceptional or occasional state. I need to constantly and permanently TURN IT OVER - not just dabble with it!
good luck all,
jim

Last edited by sabby; Aug 21, 2014 at 10:52 PM. Reason: administrative edit
Thanks for this!
Gus1234U, Little Lulu, madness2meditation