Before I start let me say Thanks..... for letting ME VENT!!

Where to start? --after 31 years together I still fell unloved and 2nd best if not 5th or 6th, that alone should say enough in a marriage, but wait I got more...... he has many gf's and I called them porn, work, mmorpg games, foot ball - basically any thing that isnt ME!!

And to top it all off our sex life life has come to an halt pretty much with us only being together maybe 2x a year....... I know he has a severe prostate problem he is dealing with and it he has been fighting an infection in that area for well over a year, so I have been very understanding, but it really gets my goat when I have to find out he is looking at porn instead of being with me --I mean I thought there nothing going on in this area with him, then I find his tablet stashed in the garage in my rehab animal supplies (of all places to hide it) *rolls eyes*

My husband and I have become more like friends (and not to good of friends) than a married couple over the years and I am just tired of fighting a battle that he may not be able to win for me or with me......... He may love me, but I wonder if his heart has the ability to give any more and I no longer want to be lonely in a house full of people.

I sit watching TV (all alone) most nights while my husband sits being entertained by old faithful....... his computer. I am so lonely these day and deprived of human contact that I signed up for a dating site where I let the men know that I was married, but looking for a man friend to hang out with while staying in my marriage.
I just told my husband of this and he didnt have much of an reactions (other to say thats how affairs get started) --but other than that he is right back to his same old same old.

SIGH!!