T called today, I have been aggravated, because of everything, anyway I guess she noticed, She said she was looking foward to seeing me on the 27th, and also told me that the new t, would start next week, and she and the other therapists were happy about that, because they have a heavy caseload. I just said ok. She also told me, that my next appointment after the 27th would be sept 10th, because it would take a while for the new therapist, to get her new clients from the current therapists, and would have to get trained on the computer systems. So my schedule is still messed up.

I am feeling so aggravated, my mom is sick, possible throat cancer, I wont know results for another 2 weeks, she also has a weak heart. I am in alot of pain from a damn pinched nerve which i got from, lifting my inlaw a couple of days before she passed to get the bedpan under her. My knee is numb, hurting like crazy, the same knee i had a torn miniscus years ago, I can hardly walk too much without being in pain. So I have a reminder of her through this pain, I am feeling resentment. More than before. She is gone, but left me pain to remember her by.

Im starting to feel a bit down, because I am aggravated by all this. My h refuses to do grief therapy and wants me to help with his emotions, so I told him I am not available for that. Through all this, its unfortunate my t is not available weekly, I asked her if she could estimate when things could get back to normal.

She said she couldnt tell right now, we could discuss it in session, but there is really nothing to discuss. I know one thing, when I do go on the 27th I am not going anywhere near trauma talk.