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Originally Posted by Rhapsody
I would like for the man I married to show some interest in me, to let me know that I am important to him other than when it is our anniversary, Xmas or my birthday. I am human and I need to be loved the other 362 days of the year too - RIGHT?
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And relationship skills can teach you HOW to both ask for the things you want and HOW to get around or through his resistance or indifference to your requests of him or him of you in a CONSISTENT and effective way, without nagging or begging. You know what you want but just don't know how to ask for and GET it!
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I would love for us to do things together outside the house, for him to leave his precious computer and sit by me while we watch tv together, for him to come to me and hold me and for me to not always have to ask to be held or to have kiss, dont yell so much. etc. --you get it, the basic things I feel most married people do together and for each other.
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This is really about communication skills and techniques that teach you to get what you want without having to beg or trick others but you have to first decide exactly what you want and then figure out how to approach your partner to get it. When you sit down to watch a show, politely and pleasantly ask your partner if he would like to sit with you. If he is stubborn or not interested, tell him you really want both of you to be together more often or that it bothers you or even hurts that he no longer finds your company enjoyable. I don't want to put words in your mouth but just make suggestions to help you adopt a good attitude when approaching someone to get your needs met. He may come up with all kinds of objections or excuses and you have to be PREPARED to deal with them in a non-confrontive way - IF POSSIBLE. There may come a time when you will have to get angry and tell him what you want in a DEMANDING way - but only as a last resort - and even that can be fixed with love and patience.
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And Yes, he has shown these actions before and when he does he is really good at them and he leaves me feeling wanted & loved...... but then he goes back to his computer and the life he lives there and forgets all about me.
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And then you have to know HOW to deal with that in a constructive way with intelligent discussions or actions so he does not always go hide again. Maybe his needs are not being met by you and he doesn't know how to talk about it.
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.. I feel left out and alone most of the time in this marriage
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Please give relationship skills a chance and things might just turn around for both of you.
