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Originally Posted by rukspc
- comparing my life to hers. she is always telling me that I have an easy life because I don't have to deal with difficult family matters (money, bickering) or that I am lucky because I have minimal bills.
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She has most likely been "punishing" you like this from day one because her parents put her IN CHARGE of you and she's been angry with you for invading her life so naturally she will treat you like a bad little kid since her parents set her up to be your alternate parent and boss long ago. My older brother treated my exactly like that for many years thanks to bad and negligent parenting!
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Maybe I'm over-thinking a lot of things because she's my sister and I need to build 'thicker' skin but really, I feel like a kid sometimes.
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Because your parent CONDITIONED you to be your sister's DEPENDENT little kid and her to be your controlling, angry BOSS/PARENT! Your whole story is my childhood life all over. Your sister and you are unwittingly stuck in patterns and conditions that your own parents PUT THERE from the day you were born.
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Maybe I am limiting myself because I am scared I won't be able to make it on my own since my job doesn't pay much but I feel I need my personal freedom.
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At first you will be scared to leave the nest and do out on your own WITHOUT your boss sister to tell you what to do and reprimand you when you FAIL HER but you will gradually learn how to live your own life on your own terms and maybe find great joy and freedom as you discard the damaging and repressive behaviors and habits that your very negligent parents imposed on both you and your sister. Its a lot of work, IMO, to undo damage like was done to you (and to me) when your foolish parents allowed your sister to be angry with you and then FAILED to allow you to be an equal and significant part of their family rather than the low one on the totem pole or 2nd best kid but it can be done so go for your own life and happiness ASAP.
good luck,
