Oryan,
Thank you so much for the reply, and the advice. Actually, no, i wasn't aware that weight loss was proportional. perhaps that only further demonstrates my morphed body image because i recall thinking many times "i wish i could lose the weight from *here*, rather than *there*" or something like that.

I like that you said "we" rather than "you" or "people". It's almost a comforting word, like the battle is one that many share rather than one that many look upon and observe.

I'm glad that muscle gain is helping you. that's so great! I make very little sense though...rationality seems to be lost on me. I'm actually AFRAID of muscle gain. Muscles trigger the connotation of "large" or "big" both of which i strongly wish to avoid. Everything I do is toward the goal of "smaller". smaller numbers, smaller "meals", smaller pressure...minimize everything.

Thank you so much for showing me the rational (perhaps..numeric?) side of weight loss. The understanding can be so helpful sometimes.