Your therapy is working. Keep working on your depression and anxiety with your Therapist.

I started doing the same things as you after high school, I know what you mean about not wanting to show any weakness, I spent most of my teen years doing that.

It's good to hear that your emotions came back once you took supplements,

I like to study myself, I make a lot of observations, do you tear up when you feel happy ? or do you tear up when there's too much emotion ?

As for me, I don't and can't cry, but I tear up (inside, not on the out) when I feel like I'm missing out on so much, or when I see something that's symbolic of my own life.... every now and then, I see something, a lonely guy walking in the street, rain...... it doesn't matter...

I know about being unable to express your feelings, because I can't either, I gave up, I wish there was a way for me.

>> My experiences with repressing my feelings back in early childhood was that, once the feelings began to emerge at middle age in therapy, I simply did not have a vocabulary or the words to talk about how I felt and had to sit through a lot of sharing meetings to gradually acquire the words and terms to describe and talk about my feelings. I've come to see that MANY people cannot talk about their feelings for the same reason - not enough adequate words and terms! I spent hours in a dictionary or thesaurus working with simple words like: anger, hurt, sorrow, rage, depression, jealousy, fear, hate, god, etc. to come up with an arsenal of useful words to bring into sharing meetings or in my journaling. I got the idea from a one page piece that dramatically broke down the Serenity Prayer, word by word, like dissecting a plant! The work was worth it to finally be comfortable with and clear about my feelings and thoughts.

I offer you this piece I wrote about tears and hope that it helps:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/adult...ars-grief.html

good luck,
jim