I'm not sure if this is a borderline thing or if I really need to have a chat to someone about further diagnosis lol

I find that my day to day life tends to be a series of 'risk assessments'. I will look at everything I am about to say/ has been said to me/ my actions/ their actions and find every angle I can. I will then base any further actions on avoiding the worse case scenario/s.

I fear being wrong. I fear making decisions out of my fear of being wrong. I hate taking responsibility in the hopes of avoiding being wrong and being judged.

Being judged terrifies me and so I try to blend into the background. I try to avoid notice including for anything positive. I want to be that vague blur in the background.

On the bright side this habit means it's easier to tell when something is off with me. If I'm drawing a lot of attention to myself/ blurting things out/ not being strictly PC then one can be pretty certain there is something going on.

One of the drawbacks though is that I have a tendency to come off as not a team player.

I prefer to work in a team (diffusion of responsibility). I do everything I can to help and follow orders (with excessive enthusiasm lol To the point where I almost won't do anything without strict instructions) but when it comes to rewards I have a tendency to say "you did well" instead of we.

It's not that I don't feel I'm part of the team. It's that I feel I didn't do enough or that by including myself I'll be judged as over confident.

That's probably more of a self esteem thing but can anyone relate? Do you think maybe I should bring it up with a T?