Hi Erin. It's great that you are trying to take care of yourself even if you do feel horrible. I know you said your T has strict boundaries about when to contact him. Have you ever tried calling between sessions? If so, what happened? When is the next time you see him? Maybe you can explain to him that you have been feeling like a crisis is coming on... ask directly what to do if you feel unsafe. Make sure you feel satisfied with his answer, i.e. that it is clear and direct. I hope you feel better.