I've been a cigarette smoker over half my life now. I'm 27 and started when I was 13. Every.single.person in my family are addicts. I allowed myseld to become addicted to cigarettes but that's it.
Now I'm trying to quit. 2.5 weeks ago my husband and I switched to electronic cigarettes. I had my anger but not too bad. Two days ago we quit the electronic cigarettes and my husband is doing fine. Not me.
I've been getting worse. I feel so much rage building up all the time but I can't pin point the souece. I just feel this overwhelming rage. Its gotten so bad in the last two weeks that twice I have considered leaving my husband and two girls. Not because I'm angry with them byt because they deserve so much better than this. If I don't change quickly they will be better off without me.
I come home and the baby is crying, the dog we are dog sitting has chewed into a can of formula and I have a melt down. I'm ashamed to say I nearly yelled at my baby saying "nothing is wrong with you!" I know I'm not a physical threat to anyone but our walls and belongings but still. I was so upset with myself that I slapped myself very hard in the face. The first time I have ever done this and I haven't done harm to myself at all in 13 years! It wasn't out of planning but impulse. I was so angry with myself for talking to my baby that way that I slapped myself without thinking.
My baby is only three months so I know to walk away if I get too worked up, I was only overly worked up eith myself and did walk away after that and cried my eyes out.
Part of me thinks it would just be best to buy a pack of cigarettes but this is the longest I've gone without a cigarette in 10 years. I have to quit but at what expense?
How can I get control over this anger? I've already had two rage episodes and three cry my eyes out episodes and it's not even noon yet. Please help by offering advice or tips on how to control this. Here come the water works again. And the anger. My husband called and I guess I didn't hide my anger well. Enough because now he's angry from hearing my anger and even though the baby is fed and changed and always a good baby she chose today to want to scream and yell all day

I don't know what to do. Help please?!