I started to self medicate as pretty young age....around 18years old....and haven't looked back for over 20 years....until recently....when I got sober...then all this 'emotion' crap hit me like a brick.

Even before 18 years old, I was taking Ritalin every day, which really just kept in a constant state of hypomania -- though neither my parents, doctors, nor I knew this....I was better behaved because I wasn't swing between moods, was always just "ON".

So I have been medicated for years....and when I cleared my system of all of these it was a shock to the system to feel ups-and-downs as severely as I did....and I think as time goes by these are getting worse...the extremes are...

But know I at least have something to go on, before ADHD dx only forced me over the top in my behavior...and drinking....

So....I didn't feel my emotions intensely because they were numbed for over 20 years....then it hit me....just as traumatic...