I have a friend who everyone likes, she's friendly, cheerful but she's very needy. She doesn't want to work 8-5, had dreams of becoming a massage therapist so she quit her governmental job where of course, everyone else got promoted or was liked but her (retired early) husband sent her through massage school, now she has one client a week and not trying for more. A few people have pointed her in the way of hooking up with a chiropractor but that gets beaten down. (excuses). They could use the money, husband has tried to say she needs to work but there are tons of excuses. Back hurts, eyes hurt, etc. She is home all day, he is at work 9 hours a day. She cooks maybe once a week, he gets up with their child (who is almost an adult now) to get him out the door for school while she is still sleeping (he thought once she retired, she'd start doing this). He will tell me at work he's got to get laundry soap and/or food for dinner. I'm like "excuse me? She has the new car, lives 2 blocks from the store and you are getting this after work?"

He has told me that whenever he buys a gift for her (Christmas/birthday), it's not good enough, wrong color, etc. He brings her flowers, instead of a thank you he gets all of her troubles today with her sister.

I just sit and listen but one thing piqued my curiosity. He went on a nice trip to visit a relative. She did not want to go. (wondering about that also). He comes home all relaxed and she meets him with 3 $10 overdue medical bills from 2 years ago. No, I miss you but 2 hours of complaining about these bills (which by the way, workman's comp had paid for). Another friend told me that it sounds like she's miserable, no self worth and she didn't want to hear that he had a good time even though she knew he did so she wanted to complain and make it miserable. I brought this up to him later and he said "that's interesting". Seems he (let's call him Lou) had a friend that told him before tLou and wife got married (26 years ago) that this friend noticed anytime Lou was happy about anything, soon to be wife brought him right down with a problem. Wife's brother told Lou, good now (wife's name) will have someone to take care of her. I just wonder if it's self esteem, non responsibility or what? Doesn't want the day to day grind, responsibility, lazy (Lou's words), doesn't want to see another person close to them happy. The reason why I am fascinated is because I think I went through something very similar just before I divorced. If my ex husband did something that he enjoyed, I picked a fight. At the time I wasn't working and I became very non responsible and lazy. Anyone have any ideas?