I'm spiraling into depression and I am grasping at thin air to keep from being sucked in. Harmful thoughts cross my mind and I tell myself I have to keep it together. No-one to turn to, no crutch for me here. I bottle it up inside and put on my everything is ok persona. Praying that I can keep myself from drowning in despair. I don't want to be in this place, especially since my husband told me he couldn't go through another depression with me. He said he didn't mean it, but then why say it. Somewhere in his head it holds true. Where I am suppose to turn? What happens if I really want to act on my feelings? I can't not be capable of caring for my son. This house would fall apart without me. Feeling so hopeless and alone in my darkness.