my day has turned out to be really sh_tty.

so i went to see my psychiatrist today. and first of fall...my "case manager"... f_cking actually A THERAPIST... was there. my doctor had this stupid smile on his face and said "you dont mind if she comes in?" i said "WHATEVER" but in my mind i was so pissed and i couldnt hold it back. i was cursing in my head violently.

and THEN when i tried to tell him i got the papers from my discharge he kept cutting me off. he didnt care to listen.

second of all...he forgot my name. ugh. im just a number to these people . im sick of it. im really really really really really sick of it. im sick of not having therapy anymore. im sick of being treated like im unwanted. im sick of not being listened to. im sick of just everything having to do with seeing these people.

im just so pissed today. its not funny. its just true. im really really really pissed. everytime i goto see these people i get depressed because of how they treat me. its like this non-chalant "i dont give a f_ck about you. youre not worth my time" attitude they have.

i dont understand why i cant have a good therapist and psychiatrist. i just dont understand. i dont know why. and im crying a bit right now because all this confuses me and im confused and hurt and angry. they have CUT OFF my therapy and given me this bad indian psychiatrist who cant speak english that good. and both people dont care about me. im just a number to them. i just dont understand. i feel like its ruining me.