Ok, so I have discovered I want my x-pdoc back...again. However with the paranoid thoughts that inhabit my mind at even just the thought of him being my pdoc again......there's no way I can manage him being my doctor at this point and time.

I've been working closely with a PMHNP the last month or so. I thought that with a new "doc" my obsession with x-pdoc would greatly subside...instead those feelings have flared more than ever.

This is where my borderline comes out with the "I hate you-don't leave me" crap. Grrr!! This is so frustrating.