Something else that dawns on me, there are phone hotlines that will listen, talk to you but otherwise leave you alone. I don't know about ones for SI, but I think that they do exist. I know when I was trying to get up the courage and strength to make a change to my relationship, to tell my husband he couldn't treat me the way he was, they helped me.

Then when he left me because I was asking too much from him, they helped me stay alive, helped talk me down. Kept me from doing something more than SI. I don't know about specific SI resources, but imagine they must exist. Give them a try, maybe you can get a start there?

Hang in there Bell, you can do this! You are stronger than you know. Believe it or not it takes strength to do what you are doing, maybe, just maybe, you can what do they say on Star Trek? Divert some power to communications to get a signal for help out? You've taken a great step by talking to us here . . .

((((((((((Bellaviolet))))))))))