Now you know exactly what the rollercoaster of abuse feels like, the yo-yo'ing, the incessant back and forth. He isn't going to change. You've given him NINE years to change and the entire time he has treated you like crap! I think the bigger question isn't "should I go back to him" rather "why do I put up with this crap!?!?" Remember, we teach people how to treat us by the behavior we accept from them. If you take him back, it will be an acceptance of everything he's done to you in the past. He doesn't care about you. Leave him for good and find someone who does!

PS you're setting your kids up for future relationship problems because they will think that mommy is supposed to accept and support everything daddy does, even when its such things as cheating, running around with other women, etc. Do you want you kids to have that as a roll model?