Im sorry you are having such a rough time right now.. Everyone makes bad choices BP or not at times in there life ... If your Pdoc isnt helping you then you need a new one... No one is too old to get "treatment" .. Your list of medicaions could actually be causing more problems than helping. taking lexapro and prozac together ? can actually make BP worse for some people.

Check into county health services if your unemployed they offer a sliding scale or free services and often provide medications.

Dont give up hope and Welcome to PC