Dear agony007,
Good on you
Many women find themselves having a 'light-bulb' moment such as this. I can relate to that myself.
For many years I carried the 'weight' of many things regarding my family. Then, too, 10 years ago, realised that I was losing my sense-of-self. Did alot of reflective thinking and found myself again.
I adore my children and will always be there for them, come rain, hail or shine. But I also do the same for myself. I now follow my passions, such as illustration (use to be a professional illustrator), professional counselling and working with children (children with Autism - A.B.A. therapy).
The road to finding yourself can be a long one. Some things happen quickly and some take time.
But always be kind to yourself and remember that your life's journey begins and ends with you.
Wish you well.