my life is so darn hard at the moment....without getting into everything. My relationship with my hubby is very very strained..I really don't know why he treats me like I'm a worthless piece of sh** when I ask him why he hates me he says he loves me....a funny way of showing it...we both have schizophrenia and I have BPD as well.... I have no support or help and I am finding it very hard not to self harm or worse...my mum and dad are dead and all I want is to stop my pain and be with them......they loved me and I felt there love. I don't feel any love in my life at the moment...just empty words....I'm pushed to my limit ..I've had enough pain in my life..what have I done to deserve all this...somebody please give me some answers so I can hold on...I don't know what to do anymore. I'm on meds(solvin) and largactil and valium....max doses....but it's not enough...I carn't cope....I've been so well for so long and now I'm back hearing voices and wanting to selfharm and do myself in...what went wrong...how do I fix up this mess..