It's been over a year since I've really felt the need to SI. During that year I developed a numbness... no feelings for pretty much anything. I was emotionless and kind of robotic. The last couple of months or so I've noticed the 'numbness' starting to wear off and all the pain I've always felt came rushing back.

I had never SI severely... just enough to make the pain go away. Well today I honestly don't know what triggered my severe rage and pain (maybe ALL of the numbness had finally gone away?) but I felt as if I was going to explode and I needed something, anything to relieve me. I didn't have anything... useable... nearby so I dug my nails into my skin as hard as I could until I felt better. It left a very deep nasty scar. Afterwards (and for the rest of the day) I felt better... as if nothing had ever happened. I don't really know what happened there... what brought it on...