I wasn't going to post this, because I don't recommend doing it, for health reasons, legal reasons, and all that, plus it's just GROSS, but I'll share, for those who can see the humor (and again, I'm not suggesting it be done!): What if you could get some animal poop and put near the swans (it doesn't have to touch them), and if the neighbors say anything (I know they don't talk to you, Pat, but if they did), you can say, "What do you want me to do? Everybody poops!"