> how has this gone from you deciding to write him off to him writing you off?

because i'm processing it, i guess. that is what rejecting him is about. preempting his rejecting me.

i sent him some stuff... i disclosed some stuff in the emails. i'm concerned about how he is taking the self-disclosures. i said some of the stuff i would never be able to say to his face and i hinted at still more.

and i'm scared that he won't want to work with me anymore, yeah.

i'm scared that he feels deskilled with me.
i'm scared that he feels like he agreed to work with me under false pretenses.
i'm scared that he is trying to think of an easy way to let me know that he doesn't want to work with me anymore.

part of it is past stuff because of my father, yes.
but part of it is past stuff because of other clinicians.
i've been terminated on the basis of less and i've never been so honest before.

but...

there is nothing to be done.

i need to work to meet my deadline now.

((((guys))))