After much debate and turmoil ive decided to post after not really posting for a good 2/3 days...the reason being 3 days ago i almost lost myself...

i almost died...by my own hands....i was soo close ...so close that if i didnt force myself to keep my eyes open i wouldnt be posting here right now...im dealing now with the physical consquences...and the emotional backlashes of surviving...it was horrible...it IS horrible ...i guess i just needed to get that out and in the open...ive been here pretty much alone except for one member here (and she knows who she is God bless her) who knew and held my hands and supported me and kept me going strong...what she doesnt know was she was one of the reasons i kept forcing myself to keep my eyes open and to keep myself breathing ....and for that i thank her...every day has been a struggle for me since that night...a struggle for me...a struggle for her...a struggle for my boyfriend...i just had to post....and to post that..

i cant believe i survived......

thank you, love, Inny