In my experience, what you are writing about is NOT LOVE. It's a Codependent form of NEED or NEUROSIS. Since Codependency is such a deep, mysterious and often FRIGHTENING subject, I'll just share my experience here.
I hated my self because I was trained to have a bad attitude about me by my own, Codependent parents! This is the quick and simple explanation. The full one would take up several pages! But, in many ways, self hate or self contempt causes Codependency which makes us think we "love" someone when its really that we NEED them - like a drowning man NEEDS air!

This question: why do I love him so much? really should be: why do I NEED him so much? and Codependents NEED others because they were emotionally damaged in early childhood and have big holes and wounds around inadequate parenting which sends them off desperately searching for a "good" parent later in life and once they find one (any one!) they cling to their new found parent/partner like it's a matter of LIFE AND DEATH!

Regarding: Why can't I get over the ***?
Not sure what the *** is but Codependents are pretty much stuck with their addiction to others because they are deeply wounded, programmed and HYPNOTIZED by the damages done to them early on and really cannot help them self, like alcoholics, WITHOUT some kind of help from somewhere. IMO, the only way to get over Codependency is in therapy, a support group like Codependents Anonymous or some kind of Spiritual Awakening so toss a coin and take your chances if you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to break the spell of Codependency and all the terrible problems it causes you.
Good luck,
jim