I've been doing really well (considering the past 9 months) lately on keeping my self harm to a minimum. About a week or 2 weeks ago, I did it along my bikini line, pretty deep for me. I told my T about it today. I haven't done it since then, but tonight I want to do it again worse.

This is the exact same thing we talked about today, getting it under control because I know it's a slippery slope for me. But I'm stressed, and I just want to do it to feel the pain, see the blood, see how deep I can make it this time. I started to try to cut in the bathtub tonight, but I couldn't get it to cut with what I had, so I gave up.

My mind immediately went to wanting to go to the store in the morning to buy some blades, because I know those are effective.

I just need to get over this urge and go to sleep, and hopefully it won't be there tomorrow.