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Originally Posted by Ams3618
He used to be very charming and loving and respectful until five months in. No idea what changed. He did have some great qualities then. As to getting one side of the story, my biggest flaw is the co dependency thing. It's why I am always the one who ends up putting in a lot of effort even as the partner checks out.
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IMO, you are BOTH Codependent! He's on the high/aggesive side and you are on the low/passive side of Codependency.
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I admit I cry a lot because of being frustrated and I'm sure that's a flaw too. But yeah I guess it's time to pull the cord.. Maybe I should go to therapy ? My mom seems to think that's a good idea as she says " you give and give and they take and take yet you never quit giving even when you should ". Overall I'm a decent being , other than the codependency and crying from how he treats me.
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Your mom should know because she and your dad TRAINED you to be like that! They are most likely Codependents them self unless they fixed it in therapy. Fault parenting CAUSES Codependency but I doubt that yours will ever acknowledge that. I'd say definitely go to therapy or a Codependent support group - that's what helped me overcome Codependency.
It's good that you "cry" because Codependents are often severely damaged in early childhood and carry around a lot of tears from unhealed, bottled up emotional wounds, usually put there by faulty parenting. Let the tears out and seek therapy or some kind of Spiritual Awakening.
good luck,
jim