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Old Aug 21, 2014, 07:49 AM
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Clara22 Clara22 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,188
I am not surprised. Perhaps this is not a single act of bullying but it is showing an underlying structure that will conduct to one of the causes of your depression. She has issues and of course your depression could reveal her issues, her deficient motherhood. -so she is upset at you then she displays aggression. Blaming on your stupidity or naiveness is much easier than admitting "jeez, my daughter is under depression and maybe I have to do something with it".
Indeed, your mum is not a beauty contest judge to measure people's beauty.When I had the car accident that left me in a wheelchair I was 17. At the rehab center there was this young guy who wanted to date me. Then my mom had a "serious conversation" with me. She told me that now I changed, I became a disabled woman and that as such nobody would really love me. Some men perhaps would approach me out of curiosity but then sooner than later they would leave me because the challenge ahead was enourmous and men liked women like trophies unconsciously. I think it was a terrible thing to say to a young person going through a lot already. Much later I asked why she had said that to me and told her she did a great damage to me by saying that. She said she did it because she did not want me to suffer. When I was in therapy for depression four years ago my mom was still alive. My Pdoc wanted to have a session with my mom for me to tell her how much her negativity and other traits of hers had impacted on me. I said no. My mom was too old to take advantage of any therapy, in fact she hated psychology. On the other hand, I was fine with her, did not need to clarify any issue with her. My mom had a lot of psychological problems and did not have the tools or the support to overcome them. I love her but I have to admit that part of my depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, etc are related to the way she modeled my behavior, to the way she treated me, and also to what she passed me through genes.
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Clara
Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel

Last edited by Clara22; Aug 21, 2014 at 09:50 AM. Reason: Mistakes
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cryingontheinside