I'm questioning everything the last few months so that's why I relate to your quote. Opinion seems to be divided as to whether it is psychosis or existential in origin for me. What made you think yours was psychosis? And what helped stop it for you? It is certainly anxiety-provoking for me too, and questioning the questioning just makes my head hurt :/

The noise is soooooooo loud today. I think that it's the loudest that it's ever been, but then my memory isn't great anymore so idk? The only thing is that I don't know what I did wrong this time?? It was just really loud when I woke up... The good thing is that I managed to get up at a decent hour today despite little sleep, and I've done a few jobs that I've been putting off all week.

I read in the last roll call about how effective people found Zyprexa/olanzapine... That was one of the meds Uni pdoc wanted to try next, but then I moved...I've been thinking about taking meds again...even my anti-psych T suggested meds last session!...I was even researching orodispersible olanzapine last night, which *might* reduce the weight gain vs oral tablets (mixed results: less weight gain vs no difference)...but I also feel like it's completely pointless because meds haven't really helped in the past, and I don't even know if the stuff I'm dealing with is 'medical', and I think my GP would be uncomfortable prescribing me anything anyway...and I really don't want to get any fatter!

I was talking about it to my brother today and he seemed to think that simply exercising would magically fix everything (lol), but we all know that doesn't happen! APs (and a lot of ADs) just make me fatter and too apathetic to fight the never-ending sugar cravings and/or move my body, let alone exercise properly...idk...

I don't want opinions on what I should do (i.e. take meds or carry on as I am) because I need to figure it out myself, but how did you guys actually make the decision to not/take meds? I've tried doing a pros/cons list, which usually helps, but I'm so indecisive that I keep talking myself out of every decision... Or maybe it was just obvious that you needed meds? And if it's not obvious to me, then I don't really *need* them??? IDK...sorry, I'm rambling I have my review session with T later (we originally agreed to meet for 6 sessions and review to see where we would go from then), and I'm trying to distract myself from worrying about that :/

*Willow*