Hi,
I would really like some advice or just general comments.
I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I could just be about to make the biggest mistake of my life or it could be the best thing I have ever done.

Seven years ago I had an affair, no excuses, it was wrong. I was working full time, my husband was working evenings. We drifted apart and someone showed an interest it me, the rest is history - as they say.

My husband then returned the favour and had an affair himself. We both decided we wanted to stay together and made it through. It was hard work as I am not one to let things go, I'm very insecure and have issues with myself as a person, but I thought we were doing ok.

This week I noticed him being overprotective of his Facebook account and it struck a nerve. So, next day I checked his emails and there is an email from a woman saying 'I'm fine thanks, how are you?' (All messages on Facebook had been deleted, because (he said) he wanted to avoid the situation that we are now in!)
I confronted him and his face said it all. He admits that he contacted her.
He gave a long story about how he used to know her from a club which has now shut down and he joined the 'fan page' for the club and there she was.
He told me she was 'before me' which hurt. I don't want to think of him 'before me' even after 25 years of marriage.

I feel more cheated than I did seven years ago. Nothing has happened physically, I know this. But, in my mind, he has reached out to someone else and I don't know if I can let this go. What would have happened if I hadn't found out? What was he looking for?

I am truly torn between leaving and being alone or having to 'suck it up' and move on.

Our son left home 3 years ago and our daughter leaves for University in two weeks. I feel rushed to make a decision, he keeps saying 'what are you going to do?' and I don't know. (I have told him I am leaving, I just haven't done anything about it yet)

He is making no effort to talk to me about this, he sits looking at me or behind me waiting for ?? I don't know what. He also says that I am overreacting because nothing happened.
I asked him what he would do and he said he didn't know but that he would be upset.

Confused is not the word! I really don't know what to do. It has helped just writing this all down to be honest, but if there is anyone out there I would love to know what you think.