usually my mum doesn't say mean things. if she did I could just tell myself "oh yeah. this is just what my mean old mother would say. don't listen to her". but she is usually kind. that makes it even worse because I think it must be true. maybe it is and I should just accept. and she is right to say I am just silly that I even get sad about such a stupid thing. I am just ashamed. if I was wrong about that I really don't want to know what else I am wrong about.