Ya know, I never thought of my past relationships and how my BP impacted them or influenced me and my behavior in that regard.

I know that in the past (prior to my current wife)...a relationship was what you hear in all the songs and stuff...to the point of obsession. I would do things WAY out character to be with the person I was dating....Skip work, whatever. When at work, I would spend a lot of the time emailing or texting them. It was my entire reason for being and I was floating on cloud nine or in the deepest pit of despair if things weren't right.

Also, looking back I never really dated anyone that was truly a good 'match' for me. I was whoever I got fixated on or would date me....seriously. Except for my first wife, we were pretty well matched in all but education -- which wasn't a good thing.

But yeah...the intensity of the relationship, at least from my point of view and probably from her point of view as I am sure my intensity rubbed off, was crazy!!! Super crazy....

My second wife, I persued like mad....and I am not sure why...and my moods during pursuing her were insanely all over the place....and needless to say...once we were married, it was over....I mean it took 5 years, but most of those years we were doing things by ourselves....not really connected. Even sex was seemed like a chore.

But something happened with my current wife...she is the type I wouldn't normally go for, but I think that's because I was going for something that wasn't really what I needed in a mate.

With my current wife, who is intellectually my equal (maybe even my better), there was none of the crazy obsession thing -- we kinda of fell in together and it just worked with us....we are two people that somehow work really well together and that's all there is to it....nothing 'magical', a lot of love, but a real love....a love that's giving and thoughtful, but not 'ga-ga'....if that makes sense. With my current wife, I couldn't imagine being off doing my own thing (not that I can't) but I don't have a drive to be elsewhere....I am happy to hang out with her whenever...it just works with us....we idk how to explain it.

I guess our relationship is not the traditional husband/wife relationship -- we are equals in every way...IDK -- it's just different....not sure how to explain it.

So yeah...relationships and issues with them are