Quote:
Originally Posted by flours
usually my mum doesn't say mean things. if she did I could just tell myself "oh yeah. this is just what my mean old mother would say. don't listen to her". but she is usually kind. that makes it even worse because I think it must be true. maybe it is and I should just accept. and she is right to say I am just silly that I even get sad about such a stupid thing. I am just ashamed. if I was wrong about that I really don't want to know what else I am wrong about.
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flours, i understand how you feel; it's just too painful to hear your loved one talking badly about you. My mom is generally nice to me, but sometimes she says some words like "i wish you were never born", "why can't you act normally", "you're a shame of my family" or "you're ugly, stupid, and dumb". I understand her frustration with her life, and I even feel guilty that i might be the primary cause of her pain. For several years, i accepted her words as what i deserve to be labeled, although now i begin to question myself.
My mom did call me "fat" before, and now that i've lost weight, she then starts calling me "skinny, but not fit" and "not so attractive". She herself often complain about her weight. There's no way that i could be like Beyonce, (unless i go through multiple plastic surgeries but nah) and that's perfectly fine for me.
Im hoping that you'll feel better soon!
P.S. Because my dad works from morning to midnight, i haven't really talked to my dad since i was little. Lately, since he comes back earlier than before, im glad that i can have more time to talk to him.