Thanks Angry, Christina & Trippin. I've been doing a lot of writing today of some of my history and viewing it through then lens of hypomania likely driving these things.

I hear what you're saying, Christina, about the pdoc, but my T was a little hesitant because the ones in our area are hard to get into and heavy pharma pushers. She hasn't had a lot of luck with them being open to alternatives. Still, I haven't had luck with my GP and anti-depressants. If I decide to go that route, I'd probably prefer someone who knows what they're doing to my GP's approach which has often been something like, "I've tried this in the past and it worked for me, so let's try it with you." In some cases it's been great...I've had success with one thing I use sporadically on her recommendation, and she's really open to me saying I'd like to try homeopathic alternatives to things or a different medication based on something I've read.

Trippin...thank you so much for this:

You were clearly bipolar before your diagnosis, having an official label won't suddenly turn you into one of your aunts...

So just shake off that little bit of irrational terror right there...

I needed to hear/be reminded of that. Also, I love your siggy about being med-free. I'm a little nervous about that with my husband if I don't have great success on either no meds or natural alternatives...that he'll think I'm being irresponsible or will think anytime I'm upset about something that I'm just being unstable due to the BP.

Speaking of which, do any of you run into that with your BP? Not being quite sure that your emotions are 'real'? I already feel that way a lot when I'm depressed...that I know in my rational mind somewhere that my sadness or frustration or twisted interpretation of what's going on around me and within me is not 'real' - that it's the depression doing that. Do people in your lives who know about your BP dismiss your feelings on things because they think it's just the BP reacting?