How about this one? Sorry...obsessing...I know...
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Dear Doc

Recent awarenesses prohibits me from asking you to be my doctor again. I now have more work to do because of this new "revelation" before I can in good conscience ask you again. However, there are some questions I would like to ask you. Understand, I know that by answering these questions you in no way guarantee or have initiated the patient doctor relationship between us but I would greatly appreciate a response.

My questions for you are:
1) is it a possibility that you would take me as a patient again in the future?
2) if so, what would be your terms? How long from termination? What would you need to see from me? Etcetera, etcetera.
3) what would you expect from me as your patient?

I look forward to hearing from you. If you choose not to answer I will take this as a definitive "not a chance I would take you back as a patient, now or ever" and you will not hear from me again, no matter how difficult that is for me.

In terms of changes I have made, which was a suggestion to add after sharing with some people close to me. So, I'll keep this a little shorter because some of it was in a previous letter at the end of January 2014.

So, can you imagine a Melissa that has learned to manage her emotions in a healthy and balanced way? Well, that's exactly what I do today. Can you imagine a Melissa who hasn't had a crisis in almost a year? Again, that's exactly where I'm at...maybe a few months short. Can you imagine me uncovering new aspects of myself that have taught me to grow and get well without spiraling into crisis mode? This is exactly what has happened recently!

That's just the briefest synopsis of my growth since your termination of me. Oh, by the way that saved my life. It spurred me into ACTION! Thank you.

A huge reason I won't ask you to be my doctor right now, because recently, through mindfulness, I discovered I have lots of paranoia especially when my mind races. I need to work through this recent discovery BEFORE I ask you to actually be my doctor. It's the best way to give our possible patient doctor relationship more than a fighting chance. Something I am determined to give us, if you are willing to, at some point, give me yet another chance.

I know this letter was a bit long but I believe everything that needed to be said is stated here. Again, I look forward to hearing from you. If I don't hear from you...know that I wish you all the best. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Thanks,
Melissa