I don't know what is going on. Meds got changed a bit a week ago yesterday. I've been "manic" for more than a month. Two professionals (prescribe meds) and many t all day this is what I'm dealing with. I don't think the meds are right. Yesterday I felt so mixed and now today I'm up way up. Like over the moon driving my wife crazy by constantly moving and teasing her. I've taken my meds how I was told to. I don't want this to fit. Why can't it just be like clothes and it be too big? I'm only taking my meds due to obligation. I don't want to. I feel fantastic. Like how can this be wrong? I have so much I want to do.

Then there's the part of me that's saying this is you. You know it is. You have to take your meds. You can call Pdoc about the meds. You need to tell Pdoc about the things you've been hearing (recent development). You know it's ok to be sick.

These thoughts fly back and forth with some variations. I wonder what would happen if I just let go and let the wave of this pull me under and wrap me in the fluidity and warmth of it.