Wow, thank you all for so much response. You've given me a lot to think about.

There is some more back story here. Back in October we had gone out dancing one night. The night before he was telling some of our friends that 'we've had our ups and downs, but we're stronger than ever'. This night the energy between us was so strong, I thought he was going to propose. We danced like a couple of crazy teenagers in love, grinning from ear to ear all evening. When we got back to my house he started acting weird. When I asked him what was wrong he started saying things like "we should just be friends", "if you were taller, like 6'1, I'd love you forever." I was so shocked, the conversation lasted about 5 minutes as I showed him to the door. He called a week later, and came over telling me that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him, I'm the love of his life, that he's never cared about anybody the way he cares about me, that he's going to win me back...and he did. I started to expect a ring, some talk about the future at the very least...He said that he had "all of these realizations".

But by January, he started saying "I like you". After everything we've been through, you LIKE me? That's what prompted the "Where is this relationship going?" conversation. We had been dating for 15 months at this point. He told me that he loves me more than he's ever loved anyone (plus his daughters), but he was so ambivalent about everything else that I felt like I was trying to convince him to want to be with me.

I broke up with him in anger and frustration over the phone in February, and a week later I contacted him. He came over and we talked for 5 hours. I wanted to work it out, I was trying to understand what was going on with him. Yeah, I poured my heart out to him and good.

When I said that we had a loving, supportive relationship, I meant it. He never said a mean word to me and poured his affection out, always. He would tell me every day how cute and sexy and beautiful I am, hold my hand everywhere we went. He came over that night and said everything and the opposite, including some really cruel things. He came in telling me that he didn't know if this was the last relationship he was going to be in, if this is the end of the road for him. That there might be some tall, quirky woman out there for him and he hopes that she's half as cool as me. (I'm 5'8 btw, and pretty darn quirky) He said some really horrible things like that he's with me because 'the weirdest guy in the room doesn't get laid' and that if he 'had more self-esteem' he 'would be chasing more women'. Horrible things. He said that he wasn't as attracted to me as he once was, but then during the conversation he told me how attractive and how beautiful I am. He was scrunched down in the couch with his stomach churning and shoulders hunched over for most of the evening- which he blamed on my 'shortness'.

He said a whole lot of really great things too...It was a very strange and confusing conversation. I ended the evening with an ultimatum of sorts: either we move forward together or maybe we can be friends someday. He said: either one sounds fine. Wow.

This is a man who would always want me with him- going out with his friends, with his family- and would sometimes drive the 35 minutes to my house to pick me up and bring me to dinner with him and his guy friends. He did this kind of thing right up to the very end. I never asked him to, he wanted to.

Sooo...A few days later I got a long email from him telling me how much he cares about me and will miss me but that the passion burned out so it wouldn't be fair to either of us to progress the relationship. BS the passion burned out! He could have given me some legitimate reasons for breaking up, but passion burnout? We were like magnets to each other, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. "Slippers and socks" "Peas in a pod". It was a BS excuse. We had a really good sex life but one night we had awkward clunky sex after traveling all day. He pinpointed this one not so great night, out of how many fantastic nights, as a point about how we'd lost the passion. What can I say to that? I felt like I had to let him go figure it out...

It's true that I broke it off in anger but he ran away without wanting to fix anything when I was trying to. Yeah, I do think that he should take one of the many opportunities I've been giving him to talk to me.

It was all so heartbreaking and so confusing. So I have very big blocks in pouring my heart out to him again.

My sister emailed him in May (they have been friends for some 15 years) simply saying that she hopes we could friends, and he wrote her back this long email talking about the red hot passion burning out, along with a few 'reasons' why we split (The first time I'd heard these, and made me go "huh??") She didn't ask him anything about that. Just if we could be friends. We had been split up for 2.5 months at that point, long enough to get a grip on his emotions I thought.

So I tried to move on, knowing that I am the love of his life, and thinking that maybe he was really just over me...Confused.

Until I saw his daughter, and I saw him twice. And realized that he was definitely not over me.

He has always led the relationship. He was the one making evening plans for us, calling to confirm, quick texts to say that he's thinking about me... He did this consistently for 15 months. Now I feel like he's responding to be polite. It's that same indifference I've been feeling from him since the breakup (which is what caused the breakup).

I don't want to harass the guy. Between the time of the breakup until we saw each other I'd say that our limited communication was equal. After we saw each other I've emailed or texted him first maybe 4 times, including asking him to meet me. I've made it so easy for him to feel comfortable in reaching out and he hasn't. He hasn't contacted me first, and he responds with very short answers if he answers at all.

I feel like he has to want this, I can't make it too easy for him! Life can be hard sometimes, I need to know that he's going to stick around for it. That's all I was asking him for in the first place, if he was going to stick around, and he ran.

I don't think he has any trauma history. He's diagnosed clinically depressed & both of his daughters are diagnosed bipolar (he's had lots of worries about them and their struggles) No trauma though that I know of, like sexual abuse or war.

He needs to be in therapy, yes. He has issues that he can't seem to work through on his own. I'd love to be able to sit down with him and work through this. If I knew more back in January/February I would have done things differently!

If I were to read this story on a regular relationship board I would say "Forget that guy!", but I'm here on the depression board because I really don't know if this is the depression, or just one of those things that happens to relationships sometimes.