alex, sounds like you are having a tough time.
It may seem other worldly, but try to eat healthy foods and eliminate sugar and cut back on carbos and dedicate things like eating to helping others - whatever gifts you have put them to work to help others.
Maybe it is time to talk to your pdoc about adjusting medicines. Something does not sound right.
they have a depression chat - I think it is going on 8-9 on thursday night.