I'm sorry this is happening to you and even sorrier it's happening to your kids who will be the most damaged by this.
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Hi,
I would really like some advice or just general comments.
I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I could just be about to make the biggest mistake of my life or it could be the best thing I have ever done.
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I wonder what your kids have to say?
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We both decided we wanted to stay together and made it through. It was hard work as I am not one to let things go, I'm very insecure and have issues with myself as a person, but I thought we were doing ok.
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You probably were OK for a while, but, without knowing exactly HOW to make the marriage work, it all went down hill again. Making a marriage work takes learning and USING some simple, basic relationship skills that most marriage counselors can teach both of you, so I'd go for counseling ASAP and tell the counselor that you want to LEARN HOW to make it work - not just complain about it.
You'd have to figure that out in counseling and then find out what BOTH of you want.
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but if there is anyone out there I would love to know what you think.
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I tried to get onto an honest and respectful level with my then wife after I entered therapy (she was OK in her mind) but I finally packed up and left & then got a divorce! I still believe that she and I could have made it, especially after I began learning some good relationship skills BUT it takes both partners using these skills and she just was not interested in giving up her "shame and blame" style of controlling me and I was finally standing up for my self so we no longer "clicked". It was Codependency at it's worst but I was no longer her stupid little door mat and left to go find a happier life for my self - which I did with a much better partner - who also uses good relationship skills.
good luck,
jim
