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Originally Posted by greenergal
This night the energy between us was so strong, I thought he was going to propose. We danced like a couple of crazy teenagers in love, grinning from ear to ear all evening. When we got back to my house he started acting weird.
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I have entered this string at a point that hits a "nerve" with me so I may as well tell what I experienced. After a particularly remarkable "awakening" that I had during a bitter confrontation with my then wife in a park, I entered a blissful, spiritual, joyous, happy, free and wondrous place/state so we had a terrific time for the rest of the evening. Then, as we were approaching our house, I began to feel the "high" disolving or shrinking and I began to slowly come back down to my little, egoic, disturbed, fearful, troubled and unhappy self! It felt sickening but I tried to keep acting "happy". Finally I told my wife that something remarkable had happened and now I was "loosing it". She got pretty sad and upset but we did not get into another fight and went back to being the unhappy, angry, frightened couple we had been for so long! I was very disappointed that I could not "stay up there" in that blessed spiritual state above neurotic, personality issues but had no idea how to get back up there. We finally divorced but in the meantime, I went into therapy and gradually began to understand what happened to me that night and, even better how to get up out of my unhappy, fearful, neurotic and emotionally damage little self. Most of what I did in therapy revolved around Self Esteem and Shame Reduction work which greatly reduced the damages to my ego in early childhood. I can't say that my therapy got me back up there where I was in that "Spiritual Awakening" state but I'm a lot happier and stable than I was for most of my troubled life thanks to being damaged in a dysfunctional family. I don't know what DEMONS are lurking inside of you guy but I sure recognize his patterns which I believe can be traced back to early childhood emotional damages which only he can come to grips with in some way at either therapy or some spiritual process to pull him up and out of his little, damaged and neurotic self/ego. This is not about a bad ego - it's about a DAMAGED ego.
And like another poster said, only he can take the bull by the horns and go looking for help and salvation in whatever form he can and there are many, many ways to get free of those inner daemons and monsters that are wrecking his and your life.
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When I asked him what was wrong he started saying things like "we should just be friends", "if you were taller, like 6'1, I'd love you forever." I was so shocked, the conversation lasted about 5 minutes as I showed him to the door.
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I'd guess that he was just trying to make jokes about something that he just doesn't understand.
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He called a week later, and came over telling me that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him, I'm the love of his life, that he's never cared about anybody the way he cares about me, that he's going to win me back...and he did. I started to expect a ring, some talk about the future at the very least...He said that he had "all of these realizations".
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Maybe he had some kind of "awakening" but, unless he gets rid of his inner daemons, it won't last and he'll go right back down to depression and neurosis again and/or bounce between the two extremes = High and happy/Low and depressed, over and over and over!
Unless he goes for help, he is TRAPPED in a Jekyll/Hide (or something more clinical?) pattern and you will be damaged as well by trying to cope with him and his "conditions".
good luck,
