Hi.
Long ago I got so bad off that I had to go for help or PARISH so, thanks to a "hint" by a friend in the past, I contacted AA to ask about something called ACA or ACOA. They gave me a number and I went to a meeting that same night here in Reseda, CA. I was a drinker but somehow did not believe I needed an AA program! As it turned out, ACOA was exactly the right place for me to start but I ended up going to lots of 12 step groups and some other support groups based on the AA model. This has been many years ago and I did finally completely stop using alcohol - WHEW!
Something has happened recently to cause me to return to the 3rd step and I am trying as hard as I can to Turn it over because, I am once again at a dead end. I really thought I had it made by developing some good self esteem and reparing my damaged ego from the childhood neglect and abuse of my parents but have come to realize that I really do need a Higher Power because this little me just doesn't cut it anymore - high self worth and all!
It's a little embarrassing to say these things because I did work with step 3 long ago and had a Higher Power relationship going but slowly slipped back into self will (not drinking - that's over!) and selfishness!
So I let myself SURRENDER the other night and suddenly found myself in a spiritual place (had a spiritual awakening) so now I am pretty sure that I have to surrender and turn it over ALL THE TIME and not just on the week ends or when I'm in trouble. That's where I went wrong before - dabbling in turning it over without realizing that it has to be TOTAL and PERMANENT - not just whenever I feel like letting go and letting That take over.
I felt and still do feel that a being or life way beyond my little personal one is actually running the show in the Universe and I need to relax and step aside as much as possible from now on. LOL, at my age (76) there isn't much left for me to "go after" so I may as well turn what's left over to something way bigger than I ever was.
But I have to say that it felt and still feels good to let go and STOP worrying about and plotting my personal future while TRUSTING that a bigger me will and can take care of everything and I do mean EVERYTHING. So the 3rd step is setting me free so long as I actually do it and not just think about or talk about it.
Thanks for letting me share,
jim