Ok, so I have come to the realization that I'm damaged goods and ned A LOT of help. My wife is on the phone with her mother, no biggie, they talk usually twice a week. The last 2 weeks have been hell on both of us and I get it, it's her mom. Who better to talk to than your mom when life deals you b.s. The conversation at hand is this terrible iguana infestation we have and why the city won't drain the canal in our back yard. I'm watching TV and here on PC and only participating in the conversation when something is asked of me because.... they're talking about iguanas. I get up and go to the kitchen and the conversation gose super quiet. I softly hear no... no... not now... no... I'll call you later. I thought part of helping to deal is to be open and honest? Am I wrong in asking her what the hell? I'm crazy not stupid. I've yet to see a therapist because no funds=no treatment so right now I'm reading every blog from every person on here just tying to get a grasp on my life. My conclusion... depressed. Very depressed. Bipolar like a bullet train. Little to no self-esteem. Boarderline suicidal. And this God awful fear of losing her because of it all. Do I say nothing and try to convince myself that it's all in my head even when I know what I heard? The suppressed feelings tend to build and bring out the worst of me. Do I say something and give her the "Why don't you trust me" argument? Desperately looking for ANY and ALL comments. Much appreciated.